Single In Your 30's

Single in your 30's.  What do you do?  How do you deal with it?  What are the challenges?  Yeah, those are all the type of questions that are likely in your head.  I was recently doing a Google search lately on this topic just seeing what was out there.  Sadly, there wasn't a lot that I could find.  I read several great articles but it wasn't a topic that I found a lot of information on. So, I thought I would write something on this very topic cause, hey, I'm single in my 30's.  LOL.  I should also point out that I am speaking this from a single never married perspective. So, maybe you'll find some encouraging and relatable things in this article.

Single in your 30's is an odd and awkward time.  No way around it.  It can be the best of awkward and then it can be just completely awkward, awkward.  More than likely you're around groups of people that are married and married with kids.  The numbers just aren't in your favor at times as far as common ground.  Statistics show and, better yet, life shows that the number of singles in their 30's is going to put you in the minority numbers compared to the majority that are married.  However, I see so many studies lately that say that there are more single people than married people now in this country.  More power to that study but it isn't that way in my life.  LOL.

So, God has you in this season of waiting.  What do you do with it?  First thing to say, serve Him.  That has been something that has helped bear fruit in my season.  The apostle, Paul, talks about it in the Bible about how he prefers singleness. He says that when you are single that you have your thoughts more focused on God instead of on the world.  1 Corinthians 7:32-33 "He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." I see a lot of truth in that cause I'm excited and thankful that there are things that I can get done for the church or serve others because I might have the time that someone else may not have.  That is a blessing.  Yet, on the flip side, I'll think how much more awesome it would be to have that partner beside me to serve as a team.  Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to team up and serve together?  That is often my thought but yet it hasn't come together yet. That thinking brings us to 1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." So, Paul acknowledges that he prefers serving as a single but if your heart desires for marriage, you should marry.

So, what do you do when your heart is set on finding that other person to bring into your life?  This is where this is going to read like every other article you've already read.  Patience. Waiting. Trusting. Praying constantly. That is really the answer.  God knows your heart.  He knows your desires.  What is the delay?  What is the hold up?  None of us that desire this know this.  Only God knows this.  And remember that God sees the whole path.  We can only see so far down the path. Our judgment is blurred cause of only what we can see.  He knows what is going on down the line.

It seems like most of the wedding happenings of your friends occur in your 20's.  That has been my experience anyway.  Most of my friends all married in our 20's and their lives changed.  Probably a lot of you have been bridesmaids, groomsmen, best men, maid of honors, etc.  Some of you might have been in more than you can even count.  You've probably felt the feeling of watching your group number dropping meaning your single status in the group is getting to be smaller and smaller. Everyone else is pairing up.  They're moving to the next stage while you're still back at the same stage.  Then, they move to the next stage beyond that.  You're still at the same stage.  Suddenly, you don't have as much in common as you used to.  You might not hang out as much and then might not hang out at all.  That's true just with anything in life cause life changes and people grow apart.  Normal.  What do you do when you're still stuck back in that other stage?  Continue to grow. Make more friends. Search out more social groups. One thing I would really like to encourage on is going out and doing things for yourself.  Find things you enjoy.  Concerts, walk in the park, running, and any activities or hobbies that you enjoy.  Many just don't find much fun in doing things by themselves.  I totally get that but I also learned in my 20's that if I don't start doing things on my own, there is going to be a lot of sitting around.  You might have something that you are so excited to do......but.....everyone around you is busy with no time.  That can happen with anything or anyone. So, I learned to just go and do things and there are so many things I would have missed out on if I had said, ok, I don't want to go by myself.  Yet, as I get further along, I'm also getting into the stage more of ok, I'm ready to have someone to do life with.  In your single in your 30's, you are going to run into MANY times where you just don't feel like you fit in cause you're around a lot of young marrieds and parents. It's that feeling where you don't feel like you have a lot in common or can relate. Topics drift to where they are in life and you feel like you have zero to add.  LOL. All you have seen of it is from the outside of it.

Social media can be such a burden on you in this season if you allow it to be that.  You log on everyday and your news feed is filled with things you want in your life.  Engagement announcements.  Wedding announcements.  Baby announcements.  Families on vacation together.  And, wait for it, kids of your friends making announcements as well.  That one will slap you right across the forehead really quick.  LOL.  Wait, how did this happen?????  You're seeing all these things......as you are still waiting.  You may have things in your life that you want to do but feel like your life is on hold.  I wish I had the answer for all of you reading this but I'm very much like you.  Trying to figure it out one day at a time.  You just keep going.  You keep trusting.  You keep praying.  Believing that God has a plan for you.  In his perfect timing, you'll look back and see how it all lined up.  Yet, you still have to get through the now and the wait time in the waiting room.  That waiting room of life where it is like you are waiting for your name to get called.  You're watched the TV in the waiting room.  You've read every magazine in there....twice.....nope, five times.  And the room is getting smaller and smaller with people getting their names called.  It can be really deflating. You just trust that God has this.  Period.  And God is honored by our trust in Him.  He loves that.  Yet, he understands the struggles in all of our lives. How much do you think God loves you with the fact that you are trusting him so much with something that could be such a struggle for you?  He's going to come through for you.

My pleas to the marrieds that have singles among them on how maybe you can encourage them. Every single is different with what they need for encouragement so that is tricky.  And I say that as a single cause what encourages me might make another single do an eye roll.  LOL. All I can say is just be there for them. They are in an awkward stage of life.  Support them.  Love them.  Be positive to them.  Just like with anything, don't discourage people with comments. With discouragement, you may be saying something jokingly or unknowingly that is already in their head negatively floating around.  Your joking about it or something similar could put that thought on full blast in their head and make them stir on.

It seems like every decade of age offers different sorts of challenges for singles.  The things I thought were difficult with being single in my 20's really don't seem that bad looking back from my singleness in my 30's.  Likewise, I'm sure there are 40's and 50's that look at the 30's and say, yeah, what's your problem?  LOL.  I guess that is the point of it all.  Everyone has their different troubles with singleness no matter what age you are.  Don't forget too that it isn't just the ages but what kind of singles there are.  Single never marrieds.  Divorced.  Single parents. Everyone is at a different stage not only with age but in their singleness. The point of this article was to just put out thoughts that maybe someone will say I soooooo relate to that or I've felt that.  Some of it is things I have experienced or things I have watched others experience.  Keep walking.  Keep trusting. God has a plan. Our job all around in life regardless of any status is to just keep walking and trusting God with that plan.

Lauren Daigle Announces Her First Headlining Tour - A Night With Lauren Daigle

Great news to all the Lauren Daigle fans!  She has announced her first headlining tour entitled A Night With Lauren Daigle!  It is presented by CURE International and also features special guest, Chris McClarney.  Where can you see Lauren's tour?  Well, here are the dates and more will be announced in July!


10/12/16 – Memphis - Highpoint Church
10/13/16 - Jackson, MS - Pinelake Baptist Church
10/15/16 – Dallas - The Bomb Factory
10/20/16 – Baltimore - Trinity Life Church
10/21/16 - Washington D.C - Centreville Baptist Church
10/22/16 – Lexington - Quest Community Church
10/26/16 – Lafayette - Heymann Performing Arts Center
10/27/16 – Birmingham - Gardendale First Baptist
10/29/16 – Clearwater - Countryside Christian Center

Here is a video of Lauren talking about the tour!

Hillary Scott and The Scott Family - "Thy Will"

I was so excited to hear that Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum had this single being released.  "Thy Will" has already hit radio and I cheered the day that I heard it playing on K-Love.  When I first heard the song, I just had chills thinking about how powerful of a song that it is.  I'm a big fan of Hillary's and, of course, of Lady A too.  She has recorded an album with her family entitled "Love Remains" that will be released on July 29th.  "Thy Will" is even more powerful after Hillary talked about the song this week on GMA and revealed the strength behind the song.  She had a miscarriage last year.  Talk about writing a song right from your heart in the midst of that storm!  I think this song will inspire so many people.  I listened to an interview with Hillary when the song was first released.  She spoke about how she didn't want to share the story behind it just yet and allow people to get their own story out of the song when they first heard it. Then, she would tell her story which she did this week.  Everyone suffers with trying to find God's will in the midst of the storm.  Just wanting to feel God there and knowing God is pulling you through that storm.  Storms can come in all kinds and this was Hillary's.  God bless you Hillary and the Scott Family for this blessing of a song.  This song is going to help so many people through so many storms of life.  Here is the link to her talking about her storm.

Then, do yourself a favor and watch the amazing video!

The Look Of Dating Fatigue

What in the world happened?  How did I get to this point?  I was recently watching the new Christian Mingle movie and there is a scene at the beginning with a look that summarized so many thoughts that Christian singles deal with.  Lacey Chabert's character is seen walking home from meeting up with her friends after talking dating and how nothing was working out.  She has this exhausted dating look on her face as she walks home by herself to a quiet apartment.  When I saw that scene, I just felt such a connection.  When Christian singles are in this situation of still waiting and the exhaustion has taken its toll.  How often you are wearing that face could depend on how much you are longing for it, the length of time it has been in the waiting process, or just where you are in your life in general?  You might wear this face once a week, on occasion, or maybe every single day.  It just depends where you are.  There are many singles that wear that face that probably don't even realize they are doing it. Here are some questions and thoughts that can go along with that face in the thoughts of dating fatigue and the waiting game of life.

How did this happen?  This wasn't your plan.  You were going to be married, have a career you loved, kids, and whatever else you had in your dream for your life.  There is such a life shock that can go along with this.  This was not where you intended to be.  Maybe you're just not fully happy.  Happiness is there but not like you want it to be.  Something is noticeably missing.

How did I become the odd one out?  Everyone else around me has progressed with their life. It's hard when there are weddings, engagements, births, job promotions, and whatever else while you are still waiting in the same spot.  Life seems to be progressing for others but you're still in that same spot waiting for others. Social media can be BRUTAL when it comes to that kind of thing. 

Time is getting by here.  I'm running out of time.  This one is so tricky.  I'm not getting any younger here.  Singles are becoming scarce.  The dating world often gets harder as you get older.  That has been my experience anyway.  That might obviously not be the same for everyone and if it has gotten better for you, so happy and awesome for you!!!  The dating pool gets smaller as you get older.  Just part of life.  When you start looking at that thing called time, panic can set in in a hurry.  God doesn't run on our time.  It's easy and hard to resist looking at that clock and pointing to that watch while talking to God.  God, this is getting harder.  I'm running out of time here.  That is where you have to lean on the promises of God's perfect timing whether it is finding someone or filling that desire with something else.  It will come on his timing.  Not on ours.  Hard, isn't it?  He knows that.  On those panic days of time setting in, just cling to God.  Absolutely cling to him if you have to cause God is holding on.

I'm trying everything here and I'm still getting nowhere. Am I doing something wrong? In today's modern world of technology, there are so many dating options now.  Online dating, social media, and there is always the old fashioned way of going through friends for a set up.  Yet, it still may result in zero happening in your dating life.  All you can do is keep trying. Put yourself out there.  If you see someone interesting, take a chance.  Inquire on that person.  They could be amazing or just might be a ok, no, moving on deal.

I'm tired of being alone.  This one is hard while I think this can be so much of that dating fatigue face.  God created us for fellowship.  I feel like our lights shine more when we're able to have fun with one another, talk to one another, build relationships, etc.  Going home again to that quiet home every night can get beyond tiring and old.  You want someone to talk to about your day.  Someone to just hang out with and have fun with.

I realize I didn't give many answers to those thoughts that can be beyond the physical dating fatigue face.  That is the point of it. That face that is in the movie of her walking down the street is a face of what is going on?  It is a face of nothing but questions and a loss for answers.  This is what a lot of Christian singles are going through. So many questions, fears, loneliness, and just a general loss for words on what is going on?  Why is this taking so long? Is this going to happen?  What if it doesn't happen?  There are billions of people out there in this world.  Why can't I find just one that God has for me?  If God does have this in the plans for you, just remember that your future mate may be out there struggling with this as much or even more than you are.  Say a prayer for them to help them as well until your paths finally do cross.  When I saw that face in that movie, I thought, oh, I must wear that face so much.  LOL. It speaks so much to any single person that has went through the same thing. The thing is if you saw that face on someone and asked them what they were thinking to just try and give them a friend, you very well might get a response of just speechless.  No words coming out cause there are just too many words and thoughts to even speak.  All of it just might come out into one general sentence.  "I'm so tired".  Like I said, this isn't a post to give answers.  This is a post to just realize that that face is on the face of so many Christian singles out there.  I know I have worn that face many times.  This is a post to just say, hey, I understand. Keep fighting.  More importantly, keep praying.

11 Years Of Waiting....God Provides!

How is that waiting game going in the singles world?  Do some days go well?  Some days go all right?  Some days...just not good at all?  The waiting game can be a daunting one.  It can be especially that when you are waiting for God to move on providing a mate and marriage for you.  I saw this link earlier today and had to share it on here as well.  If you've been in the waiting game for a long time, here is some inspiration for you from Katie after 11 years of waiting.  Video is from Relevant Church in Paducah, KY.
 
Katie's Story from Relevant Church on Vimeo.

Lauren Daigle Reminds Us To Trust God In All Circumstances With "Trust In You"

I happened on to this song last year seeing it on her website.  What a powerful song.  I think a lot of times there are songs that focus on the prayers that have been answered, the praises, and about reaching that mountaintop from that valley.  The opposite type of song is what hooked me to this one when I heard it.  What do you do when you have those unanswered prayers?  Those prayers that you have waited ages on to be answered.  Yet, they still aren't answered and you don't know how long the road through this valley is.  You don't know where the hill is in the road to where things change and look different.  The fatigue of that valley.  What do you do?  Well, listen to this song from the very talented Lauren Daigle!  "When you don't move the mountain that I'm needing you to move.  When you don't part the waters, I wish I could walk through.  When you don't give the answers as I cry out to you.  I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you!"  Amazing song and I hope it blesses any of you today that may need some uplifting through this long valley you may be in.

The Bigger The Storm, The Bigger The Rainbow

The bigger the storm, the bigger the rainbow.

That was the message that I noticed when watching the end of a bad severe weather day lately.  I was outside storm watching as this storm was moving out.  One side of the sky was completely orange looking with the clouds moving fast.  It was the tail end of the stormy sky.  As I turned and looked at the other side of the sky, I saw the biggest and brightest rainbow.  It was a full rainbow at that.  It was one of those moment where you are just looking at this all going on over your head and your spirit just feels a bit overwhelmed seeing something that you don't see every day.  As I was watching the rainbow, that message popped right into my head.  This was a pretty big storm.  It thankfully wasn't as big as it could have been.  As this storm ended, we were left with this big, bright, full rainbow.  

It was a great comparison of the storms in all of our lives.  Some are small storms.  Some are just showers.  Some feel like an absolute hurricane.  We weather through those storms.  Hanging on to God all the way.  He is hanging on to us as well.  You may get fatigued during those life storms and that is when you just keep hanging on.  We may get fatigued but we have a God that never gets fatigued.  He is always strong.  When we can't be strong, he is strong for us.  At the end of the storm, you will see the rainbow.  It won't storm forever.  It may storm for a while or not long at all.  Even in the biggest of the storms in your life, God will show you the biggest of rainbows.  That is when you breathe easy and say, whew, God got me through it.  Those clouds are parting and you are left with just the last bits of that storm as it clears out.  The storms in life are what can and should make us stronger.  You learn through those storms about the strength that you have.  The persistence.  The determination.  The trust. The promise.  You'll come through that storm stronger than you went into it if you will allow God to do it.  

2015 K-Love Fan Awards Nominees

The K-Love Fan Awards are set to return for 2015 and the nominees have been announced.  Here you go.
Male Artist Of The Year:
Chris Tomlin
Colton Dixon
Crowder
Jeremy Camp
Matthew West
Steven Curtis Chapman

Female Artist Of The Year:
Francesca Battistelli
Jamie Grace
Kari Jobe
Mandisa
Natalie Grant
Plumb

Group/Duo Of The Year:
Casting Crowns
For King & Country
MercyMe
Newsboys
Tenth Avenue North
Third Day

Best Live Show:
For King & Country
needtobreathe
Newsboys
Tenth Avenue North
Third Day
tobyMac

Worship Song Of The Year:
Overwhelmed by Big Daddy Weave
Jesus Loves Me by Chris Tomlin
Come As You Are by Crowder
No Other Name by Hillsong Worship
How Can It Be by Lauren Daigle
Because He Lives by Matt Maher

Song Of The Year:
Hope In Front Of Me by Danny Gokey
Fix Me Eyes by For King & Country
He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli
Do Something by Matthew West
Greater by MercyMe
We Believe by Newsboys

Artist Of The Year:
Casting Crowns
Chris Tomlin
For King & Country
MercyMe
tobyMac
Newsboys

The awards will once again take place from Nashville, TN at the Grand Ole Opry.  You will be able to vote for your favorites to win.  Voting will begin in May.

Carrie Underwood Debuts "Something In The Water"

It is no secret that I'm a huge Carrie Underwood fan.  I'm a long time member of her fan club.  Go to shows all the time.  Jesus Take The Wheel is the theme song to my life.  Carrie is so open and honest with her faith.  She is definitely an inspiration along with her husband, Mike Fisher.  Both stand so strong in their faith.  Carrie often has talked about several that questioned her coming out with her first single, Jesus Take The Wheel, saying to Carrie "ohhhh, that's risky coming out with a faith based song first thing".  Carrie would respond with comments of shock saying that she thought that was the best way to go.  Many more songs have been released over the years centering on her faith including "Temporary Home" and most recently, "Who Are You", off of her Blown Away album.

Well, get ready.  Carrie just released her new single a few hours ago.  "Something In The Water".  Wow!  There are no words.  My first thought when I heard it was this is Jesus Take The Wheel 2.0.  How fitting is it that on her Greatest Hits album and almost 10 years of Carrie in our lives that she goes big with another spiritual song?  The song is perfection.  Such a powerful and strong song.  The lyrics talk about being alone in that dark place and wasting that life that God gave us.  How there is something way more powerful for us out there.  Going God's route and being saved.  Baptized.  Changing our lives.  Stepping out in faith.  Letting our faith lead the charge of our lives.  Trusting in God that he has something so big for us that it will just leave us speechless.  We all have our plans in our lives of what we want to do with it.  If we let God lead our lives, he can do amazing things with us.  Helping others.  Encouraging others.  Changing this world which is often so dark.  "In a world so big, it will break your heart and you just want to help but not sure where to start.  So, you close your eyes and send up a prayer into the dark".  That is songs from another great Carrie song, "Change".  "Something In The Water" carries so much inspiration.  Allowing the changes of God to flow in our lives.  The joy that those changes bring.  The song concludes with her singing "Amazing Grace" which is just amazing.  No pun intended.  LOL.  I have been to many Carrie shows and one of the greatest treats is to hear her sing "How Great Thou Art".  It will send chills through you when she starts hitting those notes at the end.  I can just see such a sweet spirit in her that just glows every time she sings that song and I'm sure it is going to be exactly the same with "Something In The Water".  Needless to say that I am really looking forward to hearing her do this song live in concert.

Carrie is such an inspiring person that she probably has no idea just how much that she inspires people. That is just Carrie.  She's great like that.  God has used her in a very mighty way with her life.  We just keep getting to be blessed by God using her.  Check out "Something In The Water".  You won't be disappointed! Her Greatest Hits album will be available on December 9, 2014.

Missioning For God

There really is nothing like a mission trip.  I got to take part in one over the the summer which took up a lot of my spiritual energy recently.  It has made me MIA in a lot of my life coming off the spiritual high of that.  It was great in every sense of the word.  Going out and doing God's work with other Christians is an experience like no other.  It was a week long mission trip outdoors.  Witnessing to others was the main goal of the week obviously and getting people to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  The week was filled with many moments.  The outdoor church services where we would see people that we didn't even know wander over to be a part of the service.  Having fun and  playing games with a great group of people.  The bonds that were formed among everyone.  Just sitting around and watching this group bond.  It really was amazing to just watch a group of youth share so much with each other and encourage one another.  One person would share one thing.  It would hit something with another one that they could relate to and they would share.  It would just bounce all around this group.  I just sat back and observed this seeing such a supportive group of youth help each other.  There were souls saved on this trip.  People rededicating their lives.  There was also a story of one youth that wandered over during the trip.  He was in town from another city visiting family. A very smart youth but just had such a tough time believing what he couldn't see.  He was not saved.  However, he kept hanging around which was so encouraging.  The youth pulled him in immediately making him a part of the group.  He kept coming to the services.  He walked down to the altar and prayed.  The hopes among the group was that he would be saved by the end of the week.  Guess what?  He was.  After a showing of the movie, God's Not Dead, he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior.  The emotion that poured out of that group was such a thing to witness.  We had all been praying for this teenager hoping that his heart would open up and God opened it up wide.  There are times that I wonder if I will ever see that teenager again.  It was like he ended up in our lives for just that one week and we may not see him again till heaven one day.  If you ever get the chance to be on a mission trip, go do it!  You will love it.  You won't be disappointed.  The bonds that will form.  The lives that will be changed.  There is nothing like being on that mission field.  It will give you memories for a life time.