A guideline to the single life. Being a Christian single
in the world can be really tough. It is interesting to read Christian singles forums and just see what
people are dealing with. Being single can especially be tough when you’re
around a lot of people that aren’t singles. It can feel like you don’t
fit in anywhere and can turn into a very isolating feeling. I really feel
for singles that are having a tough time battling against it. I thought it would be fun to type up a guideline
to the single life. Maybe some of these tips will help out some of you
singles out there. Some of this is things that I’ve learned from personal
experience while also adding what I’ve learned from seeing others’
experiences.
Pray, pray, pray. That is obviously the answer to everything
in general cause you should pray about everything anyway. God wants to
know what you’re thinking and feeling. It definitely ties into this as
well. If your heart is desiring someone, you aren’t going to be
able to hide it from God. He knows your heart. Talk to God about
your feelings. Know that God hasn’t forgotten about you. It can be
very hard when you see things going on all around you and you just sit there
continuously waiting. You must trust God completely and know that he has
plans for you. What you want and what he wants for you right now may be
very different. Just because it isn’t happening for you right now doesn’t
mean that it won’t happen for you in the future. Maybe God’s plans for
you right now that involve being single are going to lead you somewhere down
the line which will involve meeting someone. Sadly, it could be possible
that God just means for you to be single period. That could be it but I
just really feel that if God puts that desire in your heart to find someone, he
isn’t going to leave you alone. That is my personal belief. Bottom
line. You must trust God. He isn’t going to lead you wrong.
Friends. Talk to them. Find friends that you trust and
talk to them about things. Regardless of whether you are single or not,
everyone needs to vent about things from time to time. Friends will hang
in there with you and help. They care. That is why they are your
friends. Don’t be afraid to lean on them.
Find something for you. Sometimes you look at couples and it is this feeling of
that they have their own thing going cause they are together. I
know for me that church has been that thing for “me”. Everyone needs
to feel like they have something that is their own.
Don’t beat yourself up. It is easy to go down the road of
“what is wrong with me?” and “why me?" attitude. It isn’t
you! You just haven’t met the right person yet. Don’t even go there
with the beating yourself up.
Be careful of what situations that you put yourself in that might
make you feel awkward or make you feel bad as a single. This is a big one
for me. I am very big on praying about that and figuring out whether
going to something will be a good thing or a bad thing for me as a
single. You obviously don’t want to put yourself at a couples night get
together or something obvious like that. This does require being a bit
selfish at times but the bottom line is that you have to take care of
yourself. If you’re bailing out on something socially that you might
think will be a bad thing for you as a single, people should understand your
reasoning. Yeah, this is a tough one to find a balance on. Just
pray about it.
Find ways to occupy your time. Find some hobbies that you
enjoy. Get more involved in the church. The more that you find to
do that you enjoy, the less alone time that you are going to have. Plus,
you’ll be having fun and not thinking about how alone you might be feeling at
the time.
Talk to other Christian singles and find out what they are dealing
with and how they combat it. Each person has a way of dealing with it and
you might find some tips that might make it easier. Plus, you’ll get to
talk to people that understand when at times, you may feel like no one
understands.
Don’t compare yourself to others. Just don’t even go there either.
Everyone’s lives are different. I’m talking about, for instance,
how you might meet up with old friends and they talk of five million things
that they have going on. Then, you start to talk and think, wow, I can’t
even compete with that. It’s the feeling of that you can’t
compete. Just don’t go there. Not healthy. :)
Enjoy life. Don’t let loneliness steal your joy. Don’t
sit around in life and wait for this to happen for you. Be thankful
for all the blessings that you have in life. Just because you are feeling
alone, don’t let it take away from all the great blessings that God has brought
you. There are so many great things in life that you can enjoy and you
don’t need to let your joy of enjoying everyday things be taken away.
Bottom line. It is tough. Some people don’t mind being
single at all and prefer it. Others it can bother right down to their
core. One plea that I have to every church out there is to include your
singles. Church can be an intimidating place at times cause it is a very
family type environment. Many singles desire to have their own family and
it can trigger that weakness that they have. Singles can feel very
isolated and not included in life at times. Come up with activities that
everyone can enjoy and have a great time. Sadly, there are just
going to be times where the singleness is just going to bother you. It is
your feelings and God knows that. It really is just a matter of how you
deal with it. You have to trust God. God has a plan and he’s going
to keep revealing that plan to you. You just have to hang in there until
that plan is shown.
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